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Monday, April 16, 2007

Brothers






I took these pictures of Jace and Ethan a few weeks ago, but wanted to post them up here for you all to see. I really want to get a 'perfect' picture of the two of them and get a 16X20 canvas made up, but these just aren't quite there. I might wait until Ethan is sitting up on his own and I can take them outside somewhere cool. But I actually really like these, especially the last one. Jace looks like he loves his little brother, which is nice to see right now! Gives me some hope!
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This last week has been very hard with Jace. He's had a rough time adjusting to having a new baby in the house, but this last week was especially difficult. He has this thing where he cannot talk to Ethan without getting right in his face and yelling and he seems to get louder and do it more often every day! It is really starting to freak me out quite a bit. The thing that worries me most of all is that I can just hear the anger and resentment in his voice and even see it in his body language (he tenses up whenever he is around Ethan). I know he gets especially frustrated because he has three adults nagging on him (yes, Erica does her fair share) so all of us are trying to ease up on him a bit. But it is getting so hard to be patient with him, which just perpetuates the cycle and makes him more angry and resentful! Ahhhhhhh! Can't you just feel my stress? I am honestly at a loss of what to do! I have been trying to spend a little time every day JUST with Jace, and his behaviour is much better during those times, but it doesn't last. And I can't just neglect Ethan- he has to be fed, changed, held, etc. and those are the times Jace gets the most out of control. So I am hoping he will realize that he can't have 100% of my attention 100% of the time and just grow out of this phase. But in the mean time, I have learned to rely on my Heavenly Father for help.
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I feel like up to this point, I haven't had any major trouble with parenting other than a minor frustration here or there. I've just been kind of floating along. And although I have always prayed for help to be a good parent, I don't feel like I have truly RELIED on Heavenly Father for help until recently. I now realize that I CANNOT do this by myself! I don't have all the answers, I am VERY far from perfect so I desperately need the Lord's help. And although this 'phase' is very hard, I am sure there are many more, even harder 'phases' to come (aye-yi-yi)! So as hard as this has been, I am so grateful that the Lord is there to guide me, strengthen me and mold me into the parent that He wants me to be. And what a blessing that is!

3 comments:

Melanie said...

Mandy, I really love #1. They're all beautiful. What are you using for a backdrop?
Anyway, I wanted to let you know that we've been there and are still going through it. Eli is still adjusting and now that Isaac can crawl around and play with his toys, it's a constant battle between the two of them. We're still trying to remind Eli that Isaac's birthday presents were for ISAAC and that ISAAC can play with them. There isn't an hour that goes by that I'm not upset with Eli at some point for hurting his brother purposely somehow.
But you're handling it right and you're such an incredible mother! I've always admired the mother you are. Just wanted to let you know I can relate and I sympathize with you.

mandy carroll said...

Thanks Mel! It helps so much to hear that!

mandy carroll said...

And the backdrop is just a black yard or two of fabric- looks pretty ghetto IRL! But hey, it works (along with lots of help from my burning tool in PS!)